What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

How would you feel if your friend confided in you that she is cheating on her husband, knowing that he loves her deeply? What emotional and ethical considerations would you grapple with in response to her revelation?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

TEXT:

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why do so many people seem to hate Nickelback? They're competent and entertaining, and while they certainly aren't the absolute best music, they're still a fun listen.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Can you name a female actress who has had bad timing or luck in her film career?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why is that Hag Hillary Clinton so quiet these days? She is the dog that isn't barking

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

How do I confess to my crush who had a traumatic past with his previous partner without losing the friendship?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Make Nazis afraid again!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

If I only have a fire extinguisher to defend myself against some threat from people, should I spray them for max damage or just hit them with the fire extinguishers?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How does it feel to be in a marriage without any love?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why do women have sex with dogs?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I’m worried I have a bat bite on my hand, I have two small marks about 1 cm apart. I haven’t been in contact with a bat but I’m worried about at night. My fingers have a slight tingling sensation and my arm feels cold but isn’t. Am I ok?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.